If the phone doesn't ring, it's me...

So I dropped my cell phone one too many times over the weekend and it finally died. Luckily, I have two cell phones...one for my friends and family and a seperate phone for my celebrity pals and VIP's. For my celebrity phone, I chose the black RAZR from Motorola, but my "everyday" phone was an LG 4400 flipper that they no longer make.

You know how it goes with cell phones. First, they act like they're mega expensive, unless you want to sign over your next-born child and a few quarts of blood, then maybe they'll knock the price down a little. Unless, of course, you've been living in a cave for the last few years and finally decide to get your first phone, then they're throwing free ones at you left and right...

Long story short, I decided on the Nokia 6236i pictured above. It's small, which is my #1 priority. Hopefully the signal strength and battery life will be acceptable.

Boy, was I surprised to find that the phone only has two regular "ringing" tones. One sounds like a cartoon phone, the other is a beepy ring like in a big office phone system. The rest are all goofy tunes with names like ZIPPER and ESPIONAGE. Remember the good old days when phones just rang and you answered them? Now you've got to dance the cha-cha, or suffer through a rap tune, before you pick up.

And I was also surprised to find that the phone has a "radio" feature. With the headset in, you can tune to any FM radio station. They also had a few phones that let you download TV shows and watch them on that teeny tiny little screen. Do we NEED these features? Why are the makers of every gadget trying to put other gadget makers out of business? Why can't phones be phones, ipods be ipods, and video cameras ...well, you get the picture.

Then again, I am writing this while listening to Steve Edwards' brilliant "848" program on WBEZ 91.5 FM, Chicago's NPR outlet. On the headset of the new Nokia phone. So what the hell am I cranking about?

What can I say, I'm Joe Stephen, man of contradictions....