Thursday, December 14, 2006

Duh Bears

Since Rex Grossman apparently won't be sabotaging the Bears' Super Bowl dreams this season, defensive tackle Tank Johnson decided to make himself the latest distraction.
S.W.A.T team, flash pod, search warrant, guns, drugs, lawyers... there's more intruigue than a Carl Hiassen novel here.

Could someone please explain why athletes continue to try to live like rappers? Tank's 2005 salary was roughly $406K. I don't think he'd make that gangbanging, or dealing, or whatever the hell he thinks he's doing holed up in a luxury home in Gurnee with a mini armada and a few ounces of grass....Why isn't being a highly paid NFL star ENOUGH for some of these guys?
They all want to be Tupac or Snoop.

I'll bet the problem is rooted in some insecurity over the fact that,because of the plethora of Johnsons on the Bears, he has to have his whole name on the back of his jersey. That is just NOT cool, no matter how you slice it.

Then again, I'm sure none of the contraband was his. Probably belonged to some wayward friend, staying with him, kinda like Vince's Jersey buddy that ripped off the Shrek doll on last season's ENTOURAGE.

At least we know he'll look studly in the jumpsuit, should he wind up in an Illinois correctional facility. Orange is already one of his colors.

Stay classy, Tank. Proud. Enjoy your evening in the tank.


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